I refuse to be in a relationship where my partner isnt best friend material.
How many times do I have to say this to people. And why in the world does it not make sense to them?
Things may have ended badly for both, but I do know what a super duper best friend is like, and I know what dating someone for 4 years is like.
And it was an incredible 3 years. There's nothing more satisfying than dating someone and being able to say they're youre bestfriend.
Even one despite my ex being a terrible awful douchey mindfuck of a guy, I wish I still had him as a friend. Because I had 0 problem saying anything or doing anything around him. 130% comfortable and it was amazing to be myself. It was also nice to get the support I needed, motivation through anything. I do miss hearing good job or you got this. Its dumb, but its an amazing feeling to feel that someone believes in you and is in your corner.
Im selfish in the way that I want to be able to go to my partner with an issue and have them care, and voice that they care. I want them to even try something, no matter how dumb, to even make me smile. Be my rock, be my person.
Im unselfish in the way that even if i have a ton of shit going on with me and I cant keep it together for myself, if someone comes to me and theyre falling apart, my shit gets put in hold until I can atleast get that person to smile or feel temporarily better.
I wouldn't change a damn thing about myself in those ways. I think im always let down people most people dont care or love the way I do.
Its a terrible struggle to be a hopeless romantic and super amazing love believer in a world filled with doubtful selfcentered people.
I'll just go continue to be upset now. Its cool bro.
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