"at least I mean what I say--that's the same thing, you know."

does anyone else save texts on their phone?
i'm extremely guilty of this; somethings that are said just take me so offguard, in a good way, and really melt my heart that i need to save them.
and i re read them over and over. even months later, never losing how they made me feel the first time.

i got one of those save-worthy texts last night, real late, in the middle of bickering with the person.
i know he did it to shut me up, but my god it worked.
right in the middle of going back and forth about completely dumb shit, i get this:

"Know one time I loved? I loved when I was drawing on your leg and the reaction you had when you see it was the Cheshire Cat."

any sort of, tension, or slight annoyance i had, left completely at the sight of that text.
this boy doesn't ever tell me things like this. I go day-to-day wondering and guessing what he enjoyed or if he knows when he's made me truly happy.

and yes, the time he mentioned was an absolute favorite of mine too. i thought the world of him at that moment when i first saw what he had taken an hour to draw on my leg, and the rest of the day i felt no one in the world could ever compare to him.
i can't explain why exactly, there's that loss of words again, but i appreciate the small things, the things people put their time and effort into that involve something they know will be liked. if he would've sat there for an hour and drew an in-depth version of genatalia, or something i don't remotely like, i would've felt like he doesn't understand me, connection doesn't exist, and that he only had himself in his mind.
he could've drew zombies like he often does, or some skulls because he's talented at that, and i would've been accepting and even liked it.
but the fact he chose the Cheshire Cat, he was thinking about me, what i like, what i would appreciate.
I was a little kid on christmas morning- all because he drew a detailed Cheshire Cat on my leg in pen.

I'm unique i tell ya. Easy to please is some aspects. I love the simple, i love the considerate, the thoughtful, the action not the word. If you love someone, show it, don't sit there repeating words, or screaming it, get your ass up, figure something out, and put it in motion. Don't do it because you might get something out of it. no no no. Do it just because you want to see the other person happy, you want to know it effected the other person positively.
i live my life like this as much as i can. i believe in this more than anything in the world.
I just want to make people, especially my significant others, happy. Their Happiness, is my Happiness.
don't get me wrong though, I'd like, and somewhat expect the same in return. I treat people how they treat me for the most part. sometimes i'm too nice to people who really just deserve a nice curb stomp, but that's just who i am.
and that sounds messy.


it's almost 1:30, i really need to sleep for a little bit before my next class.
this isn't done yet. how i hate not finishing before i post. whatev,