One of my Dark Passengers..

what do you do for memorial day weekend?
do you even know what its for?

last i checked, it was to honor those wonderful men and women who have died while in the military service.
which is coincidence, because this man BOY is in the military.
not a weekend you'd want to skip over, or never think about right?

it's got a bigger National meaning to the United States;
ever wonder what it might mean to one person?

there's a lot to say, and not enough energy to write it. im sure i wont even reedit this post and get into the story until after i've reached my apartment tomorrow night.

but last memorial weekend, sticks with me. it sits on my chest, making it hard to breathe every fucking time i have to think about it.
it makes me cry still, and it makes me enraged. it's that sort of hate that probably won't go away.
but it does when i put it in the back of my mind.
when i totally forget about that weekend, and the week that followed it.

i was hurt, crushed, and in a sense, violated by someone i held to a high standard.
he was on "family" level. i viewed him as my brother, someone i loved and loved me who wouldn't ever let anything bad happen to me.
he never had, and in return i did the same exact for him.
we both moved to this town from the same exact town, we were close.

i'll write and add more later, because i mentioned around November, i'd write about it, and it entered my mind again tonight, after so many months of "forgetting" about it, and it still has me upset. in tears.



And if you're out there, somewhere drunk and passed out on the floor,
Joey, I'm not STILL Angry anymore TO THIS DAY.